I used to be real wonky around food. I'm not so much anymore. I just like running and playing in the ocean and never, ever taking myself seriously.
Reblogged from swoleginger  1,606 notes

peanutbutterinsanity:

When you first decide to commit to a new fitness plan you have two options. You can look at yourself in the mirror, realize how weak you are and lose all motivation. Or you can look at yourself in the mirror and realize how much potential for growth you have. The choice is yours but only one will allow you to succeed, choose wisely.

heart-filled-with-hope:

heart-filled-with-hope:

100 Reasons to Stay Alive~
Just a friendly reminder in case you had forgotten all of the wonderful little things that makes life worth the struggle~

Wrote up this list as an additional page on my blog and will be adding more as time goes on. If you have any suggestions you want to see on this list, feel free to message me. 

Life is worth it. 
I love you.

Happy day when I can reblog this from a mutual follower~ I will always be happy that is still going around on Tumblr!

As much as I don’t want to admit it, I haven’t left anything behind. All the bad shit that has ever been a part of my life is still there and probably always will be. I hoard the negativity just like everything else.

It’s not just my mother’s problem and it’s crazy hard to admit that, but it’s true. I don’t want to admit it because it’s stupid and gross and horrible, but there is definitely some part of me that’s a hoarder and I have to get it under control now or I don’t know what will happen. I can’t become like my mother.

I can’t give up. I can’t give myself any slack because I will take it all. I am not a motivated person and if I can excuse not doing something for some dumb reason (“I have to take care of myself” or “I deserve to rest” or “Self-care comes first”) I will exploit it until it’s a month after term ends and I still am not anywhere near where I should be in terms of completing my work.

I don’t know if I’m cut out for this whole school thing. The fucking politics of it all.

Damnit, I’ve met some people here that I would absolutely die for. They have totally shaped who I am and changed my entire personality – all for the better – but I don’t think it’s enough to stick around for. I don’t think that this is just me being pissed and scared. I think I truly want out and I’m gonna take it.

Let me find a new school. Let me transfer. Let me change my name, my number; let me leave and never look back.

Just emailed the therapist lady I saw a while back because I think that it’s probably time I started dealing with my anger and self-hatred in ways that weren’t sleeping around, burning myself, drinking, or smoking. I literally don’t even run when I’m angry anymore. I take the most self-destructive path available to me.

I’d like to talk to her about the hoarding and the food problems and my underlying and absolute despising of myself and probably also the whole issue with my mom will come up and I’d be surprised if I didn’t have daddy issues of some kind or another. But honestly I’m just really fucked up and narcissistic and its getting boring.